Revenge of the Sith

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Revenge of the Sith

Postby Swiftbow » Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:52 pm

For anyone who wants to use it, this is a discussion forum for the Revenge of the Sith prequel rewrite script! (Link to follow later today)

All the prequel rewrites can be found here: http://swiftbow.com/StarWars.html
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Re: Revenge of the Sith

Postby Mobility » Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:12 am

I'm TERRIBLY sorry for the delay, but for various reasons(work, holidays, etc.) I could not finish reading the script before, but now I've done it. Without further ado here is my opinion of Episode III:
Episode III
Like
- Better plot than the Original Episode III
- Anakin's fall to the dark side more believable
- Padme doesn’t die after giving birth
- Idea of making Mara Jade as Obi-Wan's daughter
- Idea of Anakin's clone
- That the Jedi change some of their rules (especially the one that the Jedi can marry and have children)
- Introduction of Owen and Beru more credible

Dislike
- Anakin’s age *(specified in Anakin)
- Do not show Anakin in the suit *(specified in Darth Vader)
- Some actions of Obi-Wan *(specified in Obi-Wan)

Opinion of Episode III: I liked it. The plot is better than the original, the fall of Anakin is better led, better carried Dooku's death, the inclusion of Mara Jade, etc. The only things I did not like are those that have put in the section "Dislike", which I will explain in their respective sections, but overall it is a very good movie, but for me the best prequel of the three is the second (Rise Of the Empire).

*Anakin: The only thing I did not like Anakin in this episode is his age(20). For me he should be at least 22 or 23 years old at the time(yes, I know a young Jedi named Darth Vader help the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights) but I think he should be a little older. But not only him, everyone in general, especially the main characters should have been older since Episode I. The same goes with Obi-Wan, but I did not want to put it again, because I already put it in Episode I. But having said all this I think in Episode I they should have had these ages: Obi-Wan(At least 30), Anakin and Padme(15-16). And in Episode III these: Obi-Wan(38-40), Anakin and Padme(At least 22-23).

*Darth Vader: I know that we already talked about this, but for my lack a scene where he appears inside the suit. That is on the scene when Palpatine finds him, finish the scene when Palpatine says: "We will repair you", and put a scene at the end, similar to the Episode III original, with Palpatine saying, "Anakin, can you hear me?" and he responding: "Vader, my name is Darth Vader", and Palpatine saying: "Of course Lord Vader.". Basically put what it says after "We will repair you" in that scene.

*Obi-Wan: In this not misunderstand me, I liked Obi-Wan in your Episode III, the only thing I did not like are some decisions / discussions during the episode. Especially after Mara Jade's "death", when he tells to Telly that they will avenge her. It is understandable that he says that because he thinks he just lost his daughter, he later repents, but honestly I do not like much.

And that's my opinion of your Episode III. Probably (and sorry for repeating myself) I have put some things that maybe I had already put in another episode, but I think it's fine. Of course you can answer if you want, as you see. ;)
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Re: Revenge of the Sith

Postby Mobility » Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:22 am

Let me tell you, if you like the prequels rewrites in the forum Original Trilogy (probably you know or maybe not) that are doing their own. Personally, I would recommend you the prequels from CWBorne. For my taste they are very, very interesting. Currently he has completed Episode II, now he is formulating Episode III and improving Episode I (although he has not yet made any changes). He said that once his three prequels are completed he will turn them into scripts.

I tell you this, because if you like it and want to read it and put a comment on your opinion about his episodes, go ahead. Or if you want to read them and put your opinion here for me to read it, as you want. ;) My user in that forum is DLoomys.

I put the link of his prequels: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/CWBornes-Prequel-Treatment-Omnibus-Thread-Current-Work-Revisions-Edits/id/14170

I put some details of its prequels, if you want to know something before reading them:
Code: Select all
- Antagonists are an alliance between Mandalorians and Pirates
- Yoda does not appear, only mentioned
- The Sith do not exist
- C-3PO and R2-D2 are no main characters, they just make a quick cameo appearance in each episode


I would like to put you more, but it would be too much information. In this link you will find more information about his prequels (Some things will be different from what you read, for example the appearance of Yoda, because he later decided not to show Yoda): http://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/507548

Sorry for the length, but if you really like this rewriting prequels, you will like a lot his prequels, me in particular I LIKED A LOT. :D
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Re: Revenge of the Sith

Postby Swiftbow » Thu Sep 01, 2016 6:56 pm

Thanks, Mobility!

I appreciate your in-depth reviews. I do agree on the age-ups. When I get a break from other projects, I'm gonna go back and adjust those in the scripts. I'm also considering doing a more extensive rewrite of Episode 1 at some point, for reasons we discussed previously (in that Episode's thread, I believe). At the time, we were trying to just kind of do minor adjustments to the Lucas version, but I kind of don't care about that now, lol.

The Obi-Wan shift was meant to show that he has human failings, too. There's a reason he and Anakin were such good friends, and I wanted to show another side of it: someone who comes close to falling, but is able to pull himself back. It's also an attempt to tie in with his "certain point of view" that the Vader persona essentially murdered Anakin, and that they aren't really the same person (which isn't far off from how Anakin falls in the script. Which is also why he's referred to as Vader instead of Anakin in the latter part of the script). Obi-Wan felt the same battle within himself.

The suit thing I go back and forth on. The primary reason I didn't want to show it was so the first appearance would be in Episode 4, when he rather dramatically strides into Leia's ship. If one were watching it from the beginning, his identity would not then be immediately known. (Though that only would last until I think Leia says his name. But still.)

EDIT: And oh yeah, I'll probably check those other prequels out. I may wait for the scripts, though!
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Re: Revenge of the Sith

Postby Mobility » Fri Sep 02, 2016 2:17 am

The truth is that would be a good idea to rewrite the Episode I, at least not to make it look too identical to the original. And try to follow some of the recommendations I put you in the post of Episode I, not all obviously if you do not want, at least those of Obi-Wan (Yoda was his Master and in Episode I he's already a Jedi Knight).

As for the CWBorne's prequels, I don't recommend you wait to scripts, for a simple reason: he is not a person that it somehow it took him "two days" to think and write their episodes (acts). If you look at the dates of the updates (especially of Episode II) you will see what I mean. So I recommend you to read their treatments first, mostly by time.

I'll put some more information because I think with that I have not said you virtually nothing ;) :
- No midiclorians, of course
- Alderaan is shown
- Anakin and Mother Skywalker are at the beginning of his twenty or maybe twenty exactly in Ep.I
- Obi-Wan is at the beginning of his thirties in Ep.I and already a Jedi Knight
- Palpatine is mentioned in Ep.I, He appears in Ep.II and the full scope of his plans in Ep.III
- The Clone Wars begins at the end of Ep.I and his ending and the consequences to the Republic in Ep.III

And I think now that's enough information. If you want more information read the post from the last link I put you in my previous post. And you have to read his two episodes, they are REALLY GOOD. And put a comment putting your opinion about his episodes (would be well on his forum topic from Original Trilogy). :mrgreen:

And I encourage you to put your prequels in the forum of Original Trilogy, for them to give you their opinion. Create a theme and put them there. Obviously you can explain them a bit, as you have on the web. And I would recommend you to explain the reason that Episode I is so similar to the original. More than anything so they do not criticize much about it. Say what you said to me, now you plan to rewrite Ep.I and change the ages of some characters (though that you could do it now if you want). ;)
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