Uber Star Wars:
The Fans Strike Back

Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Episode II: Rise of the Empire
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

    Welcome to the Uber Star Wars page. What is this, you may ask? Why, it's a long ongoing project to rewrite the Star Wars prequel movies, since I hated them with a fiery passion, and rewriting them is more constructive than complaining.
    What can you expect in these scripts, you may ask (warning: minor spoilers)?
  • Anakin is now 17 at the start of Phantom Menace, thus obliterating the annoying 10 year old we all hate to remember. As such, he plays a much larger active role from the beginning as he is already beginning to exhibit signs of Force power.
  • No midichlorians! There, we can all breathe a sigh of relief.
  • Speaking of Anakin, he is no longer some kind of bizarre virgin birth thing/messiah. He has a father. A very interesting father.
  • No gungans! No Jar Jar! Happy days!
  • Padme has been slightly reduced in age and rank. She is no longer elected Queen of Naboo (a post that still confused me) and is also about 17, making her the same age as Anakin. She is an assistant to the Queen of Naboo (who isn't elected)
  • The Trade Federation is no longer a bizarre assortment of ugly guys blockading planets for no apparent reason. They now play a VERY important role that I'm sure most will recognize shortly after their introduction.
  • Jango Fett isn't included. He was a doofy way to squeeze Boba Fett into the story somehow and, well, yeah.
  • Clones take on a much more sinister role, as do the droid forces. They're no longer cutesey "Roger Roger" robots, now they're SCARY.
  • General Grievous lives up to the form he was in during the cartoon Clone Wars saga (which, btw, does not fit into these movies canon, but has been mined of a few ideas)
  • Count Dooku has a lot more to do. As does Palpatine...
  • Anakin's descent to the Dark Side will be less insanely abrupt.
  • The Jedi aren't so blind to the dark doings around them. As such, we don't end up with a situation where a bunch of bad guys are manipulating everybody and there's really no one to root for.
  • Speaking of the Jedi, their powers are explored a little more, and their limitations discussed. They're powerful, but not all powerful (as they sometimes appeared in Tartakovsky's Clone Wars, awesome as it was).
  • Readers of Timonty Zahn's "Dark Force Rising" trilogy should be pleased at some inclusions.

9/2/16: Age Updates!
Per suggestions, I've updated Anakin, Padmee and Obi-Wan's starting ages by 3 years (17, 17, and 28). I may end up doing another rewrite of Episode 1 (because I'm insane), which would most likely result in a bit more aging up for Obi-Wan.
    Why re-rewrite Episode 1? Because when we first started this project, the idea was mostly to tweak the prequels, rather than start them from scratch. But as the plot progressed, Episode 2 barely resembled Attack of the Clones (which was why it had a different name, too), and Episode 3 was pretty much entirely different, other than Anakin becoming Darth Vader. If Episode 1 is rewritten again, it would still be set to match up with the other two (which I'm quite happy with). That said, I do have a lot of other projects (including a novel that's actually original and not a fan work. Gasp!), so... yes. But it is on my mind! Feel free to offer and comments or suggestions on the forum or in my e-mail.

12/17/15: Revenge of the Sith Completed!
That's right, dear readers... Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is complete! And just in time for the release of The Force Awakens. I have created a new forum topic for discussion, should anyone choose to use it: http://swiftbow.com/Forums.html

7/30/14: New Website Design and New Uber Star Wars FAQ!
So, readers of these scripts MAY have noticed that it's taken us a lot longer to write the last script than the other two. Other projects aside, I think it's always a challenge to resolve a story in a way that ties up all the loose ends (and of, course, can still lead into Episode IV: A New Hope, which I DON'T plan on rewriting).
The changes to the story have also ballooned since the first script, resulting in a galactic situation that barely resembles the actual movie version of Revenge of the Sith. One of the biggest challenges has been Anakin, specifically his descent to the Dark Side. Being a character who's basically been the hero for two stories, it's not easy transforming him into Vader. He's been kind of a character that you want to have a happy ending. Unfortunately, that's not in the cards. (Unless you count the end of Return of the Jedi as his happy ending. If only there was a a Padme ghost there...)
That being said, I'm currently about 40-some pages in, (of what will likely be 120 or so), but finally with a better grasp on the final plot. There will be more updates!

Episode II is complete! The final title ended up being "Rise of the Empire," for reasons you'll probably see while reading it. The working title had been Clone Wars, but the majority of the actual Clone War will probably appear in Episode III instead.

View with wonder, dear reader, the flash movie I made.

Or something like that, but I like the way that sentence sounded. Anyways, since the idea was born on a camping trip over the summer, I've been working diligently* to bring the Star Wars remakes to life.
*diligently: some of the time, y'know, like now and then.